Luke 18 tells us about the rich young ruler. We’re all familiar with that story right? This dude comes up to Jesus saying, ‘Hey, what does it take to get in to heaven?’. Jesus responds with ‘Follow the commandments.’ The dude says, ‘No problem, got that covered.’ Then Jesus drops the bomb shell. ‘Then go and sell all that you own, give it away to the poor and then come follow me.’ The story says the young man walks away because he was wealthy and was simply unwilling to give that up.

We are the rich young ruler. Not in the way that you might think however.

I know lots of people that would, in the blink of any eye, give away all that they own to chase after a dream. That’s me. I’ve sacrificed so much to be able to do what I do. I did it willingly and I would do it again in a second! Why? Because I trust that God will bless the struggle, bless the suffering and that in the end, the realization of seeing a dream come to pass will be beautiful and worth ever bit of it.

Wouldn’t you agree? Wouldn’t it be worth the risk? I think you’re probably with me on that. This is where we get high and mighty on the poor rich young ruler guy.

The problem? We are that guy in a different way. We will give away whatever we need to to realize the dream. BUT, we are unwilling to give GRACE.

I think about my journey and I wonder if my conversation with Jesus might go something like this:

Me: ‘Hey Jesus! I’ve given up everything to follow You!’
Jesus: ‘That’s great! I’ve seen all that you’ve done for me. But what about grace?’
Me: ‘Ummm. What?’
Jesus: ‘Yea grace. You know, the huge gift I’ve given you… Why don’t you extend to others the same gift I’ve extended to you?’

We are willing to give everyhing away but grace. Anything but that! We work in the church and love the local church but when it comes to certain kinds of sinners, we are unwilling to be the local church. I say unwilling because it’s not like we can’t. We just choose not to. Why CAN treat homosexuals with dignity. We just don’t. We CAN love the unloveable. We just choose not to. We think that somehow by loving people we are accepting the sin or condoning the action. The scary thing for all of us is that by doing that we are taking for granted the incredible grace that has been given to us.

Reality check… We are unlovable, unworthy, broken, sick, despicable people in God’s eyes. That is, until grace enters the picture. What if we individually and the as the church were grace for others? What if we actually gave away that?

This past week has been a weird week for me. A week of feeling uneasy, unsupported, unworthy and un(you fill in the blank).

Do you ever feel that way? Just blah. Nothing is going really well but on the other hand, nothing is going really bad. It’s just kinda been a whole lot of nothing.

I noticed on facebook this past week that there was this weird rustling about a friend of mine Allan. Allan and I weren’t great friends, but I would consider him someone I respected and loved. I think he would feel the same about me. I found out that Allan had committed suicide last week. Out of the blue. No one saw it coming. He didn’t really give a lot of clues that this was on the way. It was shocking and there are a lot of people who will never be the same because of the way he lived, and then also because of the way he died. Even though we weren’t close friends, I felt loss this week. My heart was breaking for his family and close friends. Something just felt off.

Then this morning, at the edge, Israel is preaching on forgiveness. Of course right? It turns out that God actually does know what He is doing.

Here’s what I mean…

I don’t know what you think about when you hear the word ‘forgiveness’?… but I think of the word TIME. The times when something wrong was done to me. The feeling that I can never get that time back. Have you ever been so hurt that it engulfs you? When I’m told to forgive that person, I can’t let go of the remembrance of that TIME lost to me. I want that time back. And because I can’t get  it back, I can’t forgive that person.

I’m thinking about TIME…. differently today. Time wasted by un-forgiveness is what is on my heart today. Time, wasted by me, because I won’t listen to God. Bottom line. That’s the truth.

Things are going to happen to me, by others, for the rest of my life. How I respond makes all of the difference. Will I respond with grace as Jesus does for me? Or will I respond with un-grace because I think it’s what people deserve? The fact is, Jesus has grace for those I don’t. I’m called to do the same.

So, with the loss of friend this week and being confronted with struggling with un-grace for others, I’m forced to consider the amount of time I have wasted because of it. I fear it’s more than I want to admit to.

The good news? I can do something about. So can you.

Let’s stop wasting so much time.

Music is beautiful. It moves you, pushes you, stirs you and draws out emotion that you may not have known was there. Amazing. It can cause the most reserved of people to loose their minds and and move their body in ways, that honestly, they probably shouldn’t. It brings thousands of people together to sing unashamed all while wearing an over priced t-shirt that we bought on the way in to the venue. It connects people. When you look at the person next to you or the person that is at the back of the room there is a connection. People are having an experience together. You will rant about the incredible encore with a random person on the way out of the theater, full well knowing that you will never speak to that person ever again. You might tell your kids someday about the incredible show you saw when you were 20. And, you might even refer to it as a religious experience..

Music does something to people.

Worship is not music. It is something much different. Something much deeper. At least it should be. It has to be.

If ‘music’ moves us, then ‘worship’ ought to change us. Bob Kauflin writes in his book ‘Worship Matters’ that emotion in a song changes us, but that TRUTH in a song changes us eternally. Worship is not music. Music is simply the incredible vehicle that allows us to express what is deep within us. Worship is the expression… not the music. Until we begin to understand this, we will never cross the line of music to worship. We stand the risk of completely missing it and simply enjoying good music.

What if, however, we began to understand it. Imagine what it could be like!

We could walk in to a room knowing that God is there. Let the vehicle of music offer us a way to express our incredible love for our Father. More than that. Something inside of us would change and change eternally as we sing TRUTH. As we sing words like ‘Our God is a God who saves’, ‘Your love never fails’ and ‘if grace is an ocean we’re all sinking’. Music can’t comfort or strengthen you when your child is sick, you’ve just lost your job or you’ve had a death in the family. Worship can. Because it’s not music, it’s truth. Truth is beautiful, comforting, strengthening and lasting. It’s what sustains us. It is what we should be singing and wrapping ourselves around.

May the vehicle of music help us to connect to a living God as well as each other as a community. May it draw us closer to Him and to each other. May we look at each other across the room and feel the connection of moving in a single direction together. May we sing unashamedly. May we tell our children about the amazing encounters we had with God when we were 20…not the music.

John 4:23
“It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in theirworship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.”

Enough said…

I think I’ve probably received at least 20 full color, highly gimmicked print advertisements for Easter this week alone.

Here’s my question…. Isn’t He risen every day?  I understand that Easter is a special day for believers to come together to celebrate Him rising, but why is it that we feel the need to make that celebration a circus? Complete with real live lambs and goats on stage during the Easter skit. I know of several churches that make it such a production that they rent out arenas with the latest in eye blinding technology.

Doesn’t this all sound a little self serving? Aren’t we really as a whole spending all of this time, money and energy on the people who only show up to church on Christmas and Easter anyway? Wouldn’t you serve those visitors better by being yourself so that they can be drawn to the vision of the church and not some high end production? The reality is that most church’s services don’t look anything like their ‘Easter’ service. Maybe that’s why they only come to our Christmas and Easter production services?

Jesus is risen, God, Father, Son, Spirit, friend, helper, master everyday of the week and certainly every Sunday. Doesn’t it cheapen Him by creating gimmicky ways of getting butts in the seats of OUR churches, and then feeling really good about ourselves as if we’ve done anything?

We’ve done NOTHING if it isn’t glorifying God.

God help us to glorify You in YOUR churches this Easter as we celebrate the truth…. That You are risen today, tomorrow and everyday after. Let us celebrate and worship each Sunday with the same zeal and adoration as we will this Easter Sunday. Let the visitors that will enter our buildings be drawn in by YOU and not our gimmicks. Thank You that You are alive and well everyday. Amen.

There are several things that we are promised. A couple of those are…

1. We will suffer

2. God is good

For several months now God has had this idea of suffering stirring inside of me. Not only because I’ve suffered over the past months but because I believe God is trying to teach me about loving Him better. I do that through understanding suffering.

What does suffering have to do with love? Everything! We can’t truly understand the love of something until it’s costed us something.

Last Sunday at our neighbor group we talked about this verse in Luke..

^{Luke 33}Remember what happened to Lot’s wife! If you grasp and cling to life on your terms, you’ll lose it, but if you let that life go, you’ll get life on God’s terms.

What I get out of this verse is this…. If I work to preserve my life, that will be my reward. But if I let go of MY stuff, I stand to gain everything that God has for me.

Here’s the catch… I’ll gain it on God’s terms…

What does that mean? That means that His ways are not my ways. He never promises easy. In fact, He promises that we’ll be hurt for His name sake…

^{Luke 12-15}“But before any of this happens, they’ll arrest you, hunt you down, and drag you to court and jail. It will go from bad to worse, dog-eat-dog, everyone at your throat because you carry my name. You’ll end up on the witness stand, called to testify. Make up your mind right now not to worry about it. I’ll give you the words and wisdom that will reduce all your accusers to stammers and stutters.

^16-19“You’ll even be turned in by parents, brothers, relatives, and friends. Some of you will be killed. There’s no telling who will hate you because of me. Even so, every detail of your body and soul—even the hairs of your head!—is in my care; nothing of you will be lost. Staying with it—that’s what is required. Stay with it to the end. You won’t be sorry; you’ll be saved.

Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to strive for something SO MUCH that you’d be willing to risk it all for it? To hell with the consequences! Right?

Why? Because it’s the struggle, it’s the hurt, it’s the challenge… it’s the suffering that makes the end result beautiful. The problems is that we’ve been conditioned by the American Church to think that if we accept Jesus life will be easy. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If we’re not careful, this is what trips us up and keeps us from understanding the cost and reward of suffering.

But what if it were more? What if through suffering the lights were brighter or scenes were viewed in sharper contrast? Wouldn’t that be worth having the dark times deeper? It’s the dark that makes the light more brilliant.

Suffering is inevitable… the question will remain… what will we do with it?

I don’t want to live my life simply preserving it.

Do you?

If we do… we’ll lose it….

I want to LIVE. Give me deep dark suffering so that the glory of God may be brilliant…

God help me to suffer well….

Maybe you need to fill in these blanks…

If God chooses to (FILL IN THE BLANK) then God is God and God is good.
If God doesn’t (FIL IN THE BLANK) then God is STILL God and God is STILL good.

Let’s keep Zac Smith in our prayers.

We spent spring break in Ruidoso New Mexico. Yesterday we left the mountains wearing short sleeves and at one point Kathryn actually turned on the AC in the car.

Today back home in Oklahoma we are in a snow storm with 4 to 9 inches expected. Crazy!

I have to admit, I’m loving what is more than likely our last bit of snow for the year….. on the first day of spring….

Here is a pic of how our family spent this spring morning.

What are you building? from Mark Ryan on Vimeo.

Last night I drove out to lead worship for the last night of our church’s youth weekend called Isolation. Friday night’s worship session was about worship. How to worship…what it means to worship, ect. It was an incredible time of connecting with God. You can read about it here.

This night’s emphasis was prayer. How do you pray? Why do you pray? Who and what do you pray for?

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon. Layne, my 7 year old daughter, was on me about taking her with me to this last night of the retreat. I was hesitant to take her because I wanted to be careful about distracting these students by bringing my 7 yr old with me. Not to mention, selfishly, I was looking forward to a time of resting, reading and a little song writing. I’ve been really busy lately and that sounded glorious…

She won out…. for the same reason, I’ve been really busy and I needed to spend some time with her…. and… how do you say NO to this face?

And….. because….. God knows what He is doing…..

So I set out on the road with my new ‘roadie’

We of course had to keep the ‘roadie’ happy with road snacks!

yep, that just happened! Anyway….

So we got there. I lead for the students and it was really good. God was moving. Then Bryan got up and talked about prayer. The importance of connecting daily with our Father and the power behind praying for people. Powerful stuff. It was cool to see the idea prayer going past simply praying for their needs… it was beginning to move past them…. to others.

After the talk, Bryan had the students leave the room we where in and go to this little intimate prayer chapel. There they found paper and a pen. They were challenged to choose people, specific people, that they would pray for. The room was quiet and heavy. They were being stretched to move this idea of praying outside of themselves to direct application. It was working.

I noticed my daughter walking up to the table with the paper and pens. I figured she was just getting something to draw on. Which was a great way to keep her occupied.

Then she asked me to write down someone’s name and I did. Then another and I did. Then another and another. You get the idea….. Now, this is not entirely out of the norm for her. She likes to write notes and so on. Then she asked  for the pen and how to spell this phrase…. ‘pray for these people each night’. I told her and she wrote it down.

The next phase of the night took the students outside to a big campfire where they were asked to sit silently and actually pray for those names they wrote down. More application and it was working.

Layne and I sat near the fire because she was cold. I was just sitting there quietly taking in the smell of the fire, the movement of God and praying that these students would really try to pray for their friends and family.

I felt a nudge and Layne asked how to read one of the names I wrote for her. I told her and she turned back around toward the fire with her paper in front of her.

I started watching her and noticed that she would read a name, then she would close her eyes, move her lips slightly for about 30 seconds and then read another.

Then she handed me the paper and asked, ‘Daddy, would you pray for me? I got to my name and I don’t want to pray for myself. I just want to pray for the other people. When you’re done give me my list back.’ So, in an attempt to not cry like a school girl I began praying. Thanking Jesus that I am so blessed to have a beautiful little girl that at times, gets God so much more than I do.

I said I was done and she smiled…. took her list back….. and finished praying for those on her list.

My question for us is… Who are we praying for? Are we praying for people daily because we love them enough to pray blessings over them? I know I’m not. But, I’m going to start….right along with my 7 yr old.

So, Goldie, Maggie, Crew, Raimie, Jessica, Levi, Drew, Cody (our dead dog), Grandpa, Dee Dee, Nana, Poppie, Finn, Jude, Daddy, Mommy, Rolley (our cat), Israel, Brittany, Bryan, Maddison, Layne (she had me pray for her), Elle, Emma, Evyn, Brooke, Collin and Cameron….. you were prayed for last night for over 30 min. It probably won’t be the last time. You are loved by Layne.

I’ll be starting my list today…. what about you?

I am at a youth retreat for my church called Isolation. I’m leading acoustic worship for these students and…. if I’m honest….. I did not want to come to this today. I’ve had an incredibly busy couple weeks and a rough couple of days. I’m tired, I’m beat up and I just wanted to stay home and sleep.

The only reason I didn’t call Bryan (youth guy, good friend and my guitar player) and tell him that I couldn’t make it was ….. well….. basically out of obligation. I didn’t want to let Bryan down.

That’s where God comes in….

Tonight was awesome….. humbling…. peaceful….. hopeful…..joyful and sorrowful….

Bryan asked me to talk to his students about worship. How do we worship and why do we worship.

I talked to them about Lazarus out of John 11. The only way I can worship God is to understand that it isn’t about me and never has been about me. It’s about Him. So much so that He lets ‘the one He loves’ (Lazarus) die for the sole purpose of being glorified through Lazarus’s ressurection.

He allowed pain… death…. sorrow…..

He also wept when He arrived to ressurect him. He loves.

I know it seems weird to talk about suffering while talking about worshipping Jesus. But, understand, I think we can’t truely worship Jesus without understanding suffering. When life is falling apart, how can we worship without understanding that truth of God? Which is that He loves us beyond measure, and would let us die so that He might be glorified in our resurrection through Him.

Powerful and heavy stuff.

I opened the worship time with the song ‘All I Can Say’ by David Crowder. The song is about suffering and admitting to God that ‘this’, the measure of praise that’s left when life is breaking, is literally all I have to give in that moment. Deep.

Students began to weep

From there we went in to ‘Came to my rescue’ affirming that when we call on Him, not only does He hear us, He answers. Re-enforced that with the the bridge from ‘Your love never fails’ and sang the truth that He works all things together for our good.

Students were now singing with passion, hope, heart and conviction. They were loud.

Finally we ended with ‘How He Loves’ by John Mark McMillan (not the Crowder version, sorry Dave!). What an incredible song… ‘He is jealous for me… If grace is an ocean we’re all sinking…. His love is like a hurricane and I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy….’

Students sang louder than me. We kept singing until they wanted to stop. Which took a while.

beautiful. students grasping the idea that He receives the most glory when we are satisfied in Him in the midst of suffering.

In one night we went from suffering….. to hope….. to finding peace in a loving father.

I am so glad that I came. God is so amazingly good.

It is my hope that YOU, where ever you are, in whatever you’re doing, find Him to be all satisfying. That He is enough, even in the middle of suffering.

God reminded ME of that tonight. May He remind you as well.